The hierarchy of celebrity baby announcements, from Beyoncé to laundry detergent sponsorships

It’s surely a stressful question for any celebrity: How will I introduce my baby to the world?

After all, the way you announce your bundle of joy says a lot about where you are in the Hollywood hierarchy. If anyone knows that, it’s Beyoncé, who shared the first picture of her newborn twins late Thursday night with a professionally photographed, finely-tuned Instagram post that received about 8 million “likes” in 12 hours.

But not everyone can be like Beyoncé. Here are some other Hollywood birth announcement options:

Introduce your baby via a marketing partnership with a laundry detergent brand

We give props to Kevin and Danielle Jonas (stars of E!’s Married to Jonas) for their creativity, and we’ll let Business Insider describe what happened in February 2014 when Danielle gave birth to the couple’s first child:

“Jonas Brothers fans eager to get a glimpse of Kevin Jonas’ baby Sunday evening were also treated to a marketing message from Procter & Gamble’s Dreft, a baby fabric detergent brand that purchased the exclusive rights to publish photos of newborn Alena Rose Jonas.

“In what appears to be a marketing first, Dreft live-tweeted Alena Rose’s birth, and posted the first public photo of the baby with her mother, Danielle Jonas, on the brand’s Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram feeds.”

It was indeed a historic move, although honestly we cannot see many celebrities echoing this strategy, which was mocked on the internet.

Give the pictures to a tabloid

This is a common move and a great way to make a few bucks, though some couples, like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, give the money to charity, such as when the first pictures of Shiloh Jolie-Pitt were reportedly sold for $ US7.6 million ($ 9.7 million) to People magazine and the British newspapers.

There’s a hierarchy within the tabloids as well, as you’ll notice A- and B-list stars offer their first pictures to more “prestigious” celebrity mags. See: Alec and Hilaria Baldwin’s infant son in Us Weekly; or Jessica Simpson, who scored the Us cover with her second baby, Ace. People also featured cover stars such as Christina Aguilera with her new son; and in 2008, after Jennifer Lopez gave birth to twins Max and Emme, the weekly reportedly shelled out $ US5 million ($ 6.38 million) for the photos.

But you’re more likely to see, let’s say, Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean’s brand new baby in the pages of In Touch Weekly.

Either way, we’re pretty sure Suri Cruise wins the game as a Vanity Fair cover star at three months old.

Tweet the pictures yourself

Many stars circumvent the system completely, making clear that pictures are on their terms and they have no plans to sell the photo rights. “Pics of kids should only come direct from parents. So I’m thrilled to introduce you guys to Hazel!!!” John Krasinski wrote in 2014, sharing a snap of his and Emily Blunt’s newborn daughter.

Many have followed suit, from Janet Jackson to Hilary Duff to Kelly Clarkson.

Confirm the news but never reveal the photos

A power move? Or just want their kids to stay clear of the spotlight at an early age? Couples who keep their babies a closely guarded secret include Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes; Kerry Washington and Nnamdi Asomugha; and Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard.

Stage an immaculate, elaborately floral newborn baby photo shoot wearing a long blue veil, with the ocean tantalisingly in the background

That could only be Beyoncé.

The Washington Post

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